What Makes Your Heart Soar?

How does one take an idea, a dream, a calling and a desire and build it into reality?

I don't think a day goes by that I don't feel like I'm not quite doing what I am meant to be doing.  I suppose everyone plays that guessing game at some point.  I truly do believe I'm living in my 'sweet spot' to a point;  I get to do what I love everyday.

 Create.........

Teach.....

Me, teaching my 'folk art mermaid students' how to draw a simple face.

And see my ideas come to fruition.......

A pix from 'An Afternoon with Dad' art class.  An idea to help daddy's and daughters spend more time together.

What more could I want?


All these make me happy.  But there has to be more.  I have to admit that whenever I come up with a new idea, I still get that nasty old feeling...'how is this going to benefit me?".  I don't like that.  The criteria for saying 'yes' to something should not be based on the attention or money it will bring me.  I hate that part of me.

Lately, there have been NUMOROUS times I've opened my bible right to 2 different spots.  One in Proverbs 13:7 (Message Version) says,

"a pretentious, showy life is an empty life; a plain and simple life is a full life."

The other is Matthew 6: 31 (Message Version),

"What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving."

I've always written these off as, 'woops.....didn't mean to open there.  Flip away, flip away!!!"

But I WAS meant to open there.  My pride and my love of money are 2 of my biggest downfalls.  What do to, what to do when you are deep in the pit of your vices.  

I believe God is calling me to give more.  Oh, we give lot's of money to a variety of places.  Money is easy to give.  I generally have no emotion tied to it.  No, I believe God is calling me to give of myself.  Give of my artistic talents to create neat events like family evenings for the Ronald McDonald house families.  Art events full of free classes, live music, cupcake tastings, portions of art sales to help the Ronald McDonald House feel a little more like home to those families living there for a time.

I also feel called to use Sanctuary of Davidson to support orphans at the Grace Life Childrens Home in India.  It's a place where 29 orphans live together in about 1800 - 2000 square feet.  My church has 'adopted' the orphanage but there are still kids who are not supported.  It costs $150 to ensure one child gets the resources he or she needs and some families are co-sponsoring kids to take the burden off during these tough times.  And it's not like those crazy commercials on t.v. where you don't know where the money is going.  Our church takes trips there, we get to skype our girl, Meena, and Kevin will be heading there in September to help more.

Is Sanctuary supposed to be a place that just brings money and glory to art, artists and myself?  Shouldn't it be a 'home' of sorts for  love and giving?  There is a reason someone suggested I name it 'Sanctuary'.  That was long before all these ideas but it was definitely the foreshadow of a calling.

So......this is my mission.  To love the sick.  And to love orphans.  Here is where my heart lies.

Now....how to piece all this together the way I piece my art together?  How to begin?

Time for a breather....

After I finish a big painting, I feel the need to do some fun, little things so I can take a breath.  Large paintings take a lot out of me.  I find that I take on any emotion that I am painting.  I even catch myself making the same facial expressions I'm painting.  So, with the emotions and facial expressions and the subject matter of the painting from the last post.....well, I was starting to lose my mind!

So, I decided to go back to my painting roots and do some fun, whimsical stuff.  I'm having soooooo much fun and it really is a breath of fresh air.  I did 4 paintings in 3 days.  I just couldn't stop!  It was very satisfying and much needed.  

This was totally fun!!!  I cut that heart out, myself, with a scroll saw my Dad got me for my birthday (my 38th on Feb. 6th.  Sigh......)  And the wings are made from grundge board.  Oh, how I have a love affair going right now with grundge board.  The shiny heart is the back of a pop can and it is nailed onto a heart made from the stuff casts are made from (like when you break your arm).  So much fun!(the cast stuff....not breaking your arm)

One of my all time favorite subjects......Decoupage Birds!  This is for a sweet cousin.  LOVE this new paper I found!

Love me some hoot owls, too.  

Eyeballs!   The pupils are created from some funky push pins I found.

Molly wanted to help.  Oh, how my heart beat when she asked, 'Mama....will you teach me to decoupage?'  Oh, the joy!!  Sweet Girl.

How flowers look in my wild dreams.  Oh, and bees, lady bugs and inch worms....all made from grundge board.....naturally!

And everything is nailed on.  HATE glue.  LOVE nails.

And last one, from last night.  I thought I would just paint the trunk to get a leg up but I just couldn't stop.  Too much fun with my beloved grundge board.  And yes.....cut this out of wood with my saw.  I'm so manly!!!

Yes, it is.


Goodnight, all.

Death of a King.

"What shall I do then, with Jesus who is called Christ?" Pilate asked.
They all answered, "Crucify him!".

......the chief priests, the teachers of the law and the elders mocked him.  "He saved others", they said, "but he can't save himself!"

.......They stripped him, and put a scarlet robe on him, and then twisted together a crown of thorns and set it on his head......and mocked him.......they spit on him......and struck him on the head again and again.

....Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken to him:  "Before the rooster crows twice you will disown me three times."

And he broke down and wept bitterly.

When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, "Dear woman, here is your son," and to the disciple, "Here is your mother."  From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.

When all the people who had gathered to witness this sight saw what took place, they beat their breasts and went away.  But all those who knew him.....stood at a distance, watching these things.

The centurion, seeing what had happened, praised God and said, "Surely this was the Son of God."

.....darkness came over the whole land....for the sun stopped shining.  And the curtain of the temple was torn in two.  Jesus called out with a loud voice, "Father, into your hands I commit my spirit."  And he 

breathed his last.

As he was blessing them, he was taken up into heaven.  "And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

Created to Create.

A sweet lady came into the gallery a few days ago and talked to me about feeling guilty when she tried to carve out time for art and crafting.  Pshaw!....was my response.  You are an artist.  You were made to create!

I truly believe that if the Creator made you to create, you die a little everyday if you do not feed that beautiful part of yourself.  It doesn't have to be something huge or something that take 6 months to finish. Sometimes, I get my creative fix when I make pipe cleaner dolls with my girls!

And I think some of us get insecure because we think our 'crafts' aren't useful or we think if they aren't typically something that sells that they are a waste of time.  PSHAW!!!  Selling art or the lack thereof does not differentiate an artist from a 'crafty person'.  If you create, you are an artist.  My kids are artists.  Don't sell yourself short.  There is an artist inside you.  And that artist wants out!!

I found a fabulous quote on pintrest today (yes, I'm addicted).  It's perfect for you and I.

I know that life is busy and hard, and that there’s a crushing pressure to just settle down and get a real job and khaki pants and a haircut. But don’t. Please don’t. Please keep believing that life can be better, brighter, broader, because of the art that you make. Please keep demonstrating the courage that it takes to swim upstream in a world that prefers putting away for retirement to putting pen to paper, that chooses practicality over poetry, that values you more for going to the gym than going to the deepest places in your soul. Please keep making art for people like me, people who need the magic and imagination and honesty of great art to make the day to day world a little more bearable.

And if, for whatever reason, you’ve stopped,  stopped believing in your voice, stopped fighting to find the time......start today.

- Shauna Niequist, Cold Tangerines

That's fabulous.

Now......go get a cup of coffee.....

And Create.  With no guilt.  No Shame.  Do what you were created to do.

Good Night.

Hope.

Faith is having hope in that which we cannot see.  Hope gives joy.  

Hope is alive with color.  It helps us to rise up....even in the midst of our suffering.

Hope is life giving.  Nothing survives for long without it.

Faith, love and hope strengthen each other.  They hold us up.  Hope is life giving.

We have a hope and future.  There are beautiful, unimaginable plans for our lives.  

'For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord,  plans for welfare and not for evil.

Plans to give you a FUTURE and a 

HOPE.

Jeremiah 29:11

There is hope for you.    Our God is not promising to just 'get us through' our pain.  He is not promising to numb us so we can survive the pain until it lets up.  No.  He is promising to love us through our pain.  He is blessing us within our pain.  Not 'with' pain, but in it.  He will not allow our pain to be useless.  He can use anything.  He can redeem anything.  

My pain is a pathway.  My pain is sanctified. My pain is of great value.  My pain is poetry.  

Hope.

Rest.

Today was one of those days I kind of dreaded when I woke up.  I felt under the weather but knew I had lot's to get done.    I was asked to lead worship at my church every Thursday morning and I happily said yes 2 weeks ago.  But I do always dread lugging my piano around.  It's super heavy and I'm not incredibly fond of carrying big things.

Shouldn't we all be free spirits like this?  Does this cat look stressed as he plays with the dogs tail?

And.....packing the girls lunches was tough today  being that I'm on a health kick and all the food in the house was totally yucky.....at least to an 8 and 6 year old.  That meant I had to also go to the grocery store after church.
I also volunteer at the girls school on Thursday and Friday to walk their classes to the park.  Did I mention  that I hate the cold, too?

Oh boy.....what a baby I've been today!

So after all this, I was looking forward to going home and resting a bit with a heating pad on my belly and the comfort of a couple of midol.   Then, my friend calls and requests that my kids come over after school and play with her kids.  

Yay!!!

So I go home, thinking I'd really better get come things done while the kids are gone.  But......I also got a lovely feeling.

Rest is good.  So are new friends.

Lay down.  Relax.  You've done enough today.  All that stuff you feel like you must do will be there tomorrow.  Take a nap.
And I did.   With the fire going.  And the phone turned off.  And the new cat sleeping, curled up next to me.  And although my belly doesn't feel much better, my spirit does.
Rest. Is. Good.

Ah.....rest.

And I'd also like to share a new painting.  There is a wonderful gentleman name Rick who I have dubbed my junkman (He's FABULOUS) who occasionally finds me awesome things to paint on.  He dropped off this amazing antique, wooden plate a few weeks ago at the gallery.  It was screaming for an angel inside it.

And a few days ago,  my awesome hubby redid my studio for me.  Ah......nothing screams rest like a nice, clean work space.

Now.....shut down your computer and go get some rest.

Good Night.

Back to normal....

Is anyone as happy as I am that life is getting back to normal after the holidays??  I'm thrilled!  It's totally dead at the gallery and I couldn't be happier.  I'm cleaning, organizing (a huge feat for me) and actually doing art projects that I WANT to do....not have to do.  Glory!!!

On the plane ride to New York I finally finished a new poem.  It's funny with me and poetry.....I LOVE to write.  I'll write 4-5 poems in a month sometimes.  And then?  I'll literally go several years without writing another one.  But they really do sell well for me and I wish the 'urge' would hit me more often.  I guess it all goes back to my ADD!

It still needs some tweaking but here goes....  

GETTING THERE

On days like these when doubt creeps in

And You just keep losing where You expected to win

The rain seems to pour when You're  needing the sun

You could use some  company but  find there's no one.

There's a storm all around and Your drenched with tears

The mirror keeps reminding you've put on a few years.

 Each step forward is met with 2 steps back

And that storm keeps whispering all the qualities You lack. 

When The Thunders rolls on all you hear is the roar

But the heartache can  show what's been overlooked before.

Pain can remind us who we are and what we've got.

To hold up our heads and give it another shot.

Life is such a lovely song but when the rhythms out of time,

It's easy to think you're alone and the world is unkind.

But we're all together on this vehicle called earth

And we all have a story, a purpose and a worth.

The storm takes your confidence and tries to knock you down.

And you feel so lost when you want to be found.

Just unclench your fists and let others take hold.

Let the fire of God's love  chase away all the cold.

Giving ups a tough  choice and  can really pull you in

But you  have to wage a war with it time and time again.

And at times You'll lose the battle but I know You'll be okay.

One foot in front of the other.'. Just take it day by day..

Everyday we get one step closer to getting there.

Like I said.....still needs a little work.  

I also decided to start making my own backgrounds for the poems.  I'm assuming the scrapbook paper I've been using is copyright and now that I'm making copies for greeting cards....well.....better to be safe than sued.    Trying my hand at 'designer' is challenging but fun.  It's very freeing to just paint without a subject.  Just colors and shapes.  Back to the basics!

I also spent the day with Molly and her class visiting an assisted living home.  I had to add this lovely photo of Molly helping an elderly friend with a craft.  She makes my heart melt.  She really does have that special something that you just can't teach.  God gave her the gift of love and mercy.  I wish I were more like her.

And now it is officially past my bedtime.  Nighty night.  Glad to be back on track and blogging again!  

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Miracles.

This morning I slept in until 7:30.  Yes, I know that doesn't sound like much but for me it's grand.  No lunches to pack, noone to push out the door with backpacks, water bottles and shoes that match.  Just a nice lazy morning listening to my sweet girls playing together, laughing, daydreaming, singing songs......and yes, the occasional argument.  That's okay.  I'll take it.  

I'm so in awe of my children.  And sitting here listening to them on this fine morning while I suck down another cup of coffee (I thought about fasting coffee today because I've been drinking gallons of it.  You see how far that went) I'm overwhelmed by a sense of gratitude.  And so many miracles God has performed in my piddly little life flow through my mind.

The obvious ones are my sweet husband and awesome kids.  Nothing trumps that.  And I could go down the list and highlight them all.  That will be another, very long, long post.

But I also think about the gallery.  Most people don't know that it was actually GIVEN to me by a fabulous gentleman and his family.  I had no confidence in myself at the beginning of this venture but really believed God was in it, so I did it.

I'm so glad I did.  

Having little confidence or a sense of self worth for years, jumping head first into an unknown venture like the gallery has worked hard to change all that.  I'm a different person.  I prayed for years that God would help me think differently of myself.  And I guess I just didn't think I was valuable or able to do valuable things.   And I truly believe God gave me this gallery because it forced me to do what I believed I couldn't;  run a business, be around people for extended periods of time without being overwhelmed, develop relationships, manage my time, organize, facilitate........

And although I have a long way to go, I've come a long way, too.  And I'm in awe of how God answers prayers and the pathways He puts in front of us.  We choose yes or no.  And every 'yes' I've said has come with a price.  The work has been hard.  Not just with the gallery but with having kids, with marrying the love of my life, with maintaining relationships, with being kind to people......many things.  But the work has been worth it.  And the outcome of saying 'yes' to God has been the ride of my life.  

I can't wait to see what comes next.

I'm in awe.