Weird.

The past couple of weeks have been great.  Really great.

It's my friends.  I forget how much I need them.  Desperately.

When I was a kid, I had no problem making friends.  Super easy.  Played with anyone.

But, as I aged, I began to feel super awkward.  Sometimes I just couldn't think of anything to say to add to the conversation.  And when I did think of something, it was usually weird or blunt or just plain, old inappropriate.  And then I felt stupid.  And small.  And weird.  I would talk, talk, talk.  The more uncomfortable I was, the more I talked.  About anything.  Menstrual periods, politics, baboons, smelly feet......anything to avoid silence.  It did not fair well for me.

So, I went through a phase where I didn't have any girlfriends.  I couldn't relate.  I hung out with mostly boys because if I said something stupid or inappropriate....well, they usually found it entertaining.

But, I was very lonely.  

After I agreed to marry my sweet hubby, Kevin, he made me promise to make some girlfriends.  No more hanging out with guys.   Eek!!!!   I panicked.  I said I would try but I really was afraid.  I certainly did not expect anyone to like me.  I'm just......weird.

So....I prayed.  I prayed for girlfriends.  I prayed a lot.  I prayed that I wouldn't be awkward or strange.  I prayed for courage.  I prayed for confidence.  And I prayed for girlfriends who would get me.  

12 years later.....I have great friends.  Better gal pals than I ever thought possible for someone as weird as me.  I guess God has a sense of humor.....making me weird and also providing me with friends who find it amusing!

Still.....I have to remind myself to meet with my gal pals.  To carve out that time and make it a priority.  About a month ago I felt like I was sinking into a bottomless pit.  Then.....a lightbulb went off.  How long has it been since I met with my gal pals?  I mean really made the time for it?  

So....I did.  I started meeting with 2 gals for coffee on Monday mornings.  I started working out with a gal once or twice a week.  I met with some gals I hadn't seen in forever for wine.  I met with another gal for more coffee.  And another for even MORE coffee (I love coffee).  And I was so overjoyed to get a text from another pal yesterday that said, 'I need to see my friend!'.  

Smile.

And, I feel good again.  I feel more grounded.  Less weird.

Although.....I'll always be weird.  I'm okay with that.  As long as I have friends who get me.  

And I do.

Just for fun.....I'm adding this little video I made of me creating the little painting pictured above.  Hope you enjoy!

Unexpected Gifts.

My sweet friend, Lori, gave me a wonderful and priceless gift on last Thursday night.  Kevin was out of town and our kids wanted a sleep over, so she volunteered her house.

Oh, Glory!!  A whole night to myself?  Alone?  I haven't had that my early 20's!!

At first I was going to say no, let's have it at my house.  But, my husband said I was being crazy and that I should take the gift.

I did.

Well, kind of.  I did stay at Lori's house sitting on her back porch drinking wine and lighting sparklers for our children.  And we talked and laughed and imbibed.  And her husband brought us the most luscious cheesecake I have ever tasted.  We ate it down to the aluminum pie tin!!!

And then.....I kissed my girls and drove home.  I got home at 11:00 and ran a bath.  At first I was afraid of all the silence.  And being alone.  But.....I grabbed my banjo (yes....I play the banjo) and practiced while the bath ran.  And then I gave myself a facial and soaked.  After the bath, I read a magazine and then slid into bed a little after midnight.

I slept in until 8:00.  Wow!!!!  It was so beautifully wonderful to sleep until I actually woke up.....not to an alarm or kids jumping on me or a cat pawing at my face to be fed.......I slept until I woke up.

I got up, made coffee, sat on the screened in porch and read my bible and my favorite magazine for an hour.  I think I closed my eyes for at least 15 minutes and just listened to the wind blow through the trees.  I was so relaxed.  Which was such a lovely, rare treat because there is very little about my life that is relaxing!  

I wandered around my yard and picked flowers that were blooming......I didn't even realized there WERE flowers blooming!!

Our little garden!

I guess I just didn't realize how fried I was.  Sometimes I feel like such a tightly wound up ball of dynamite getting ready to explode.  But on Friday morning......I was calm.  And ready to pick up the girls and let the chaos ensue!

So, thank you, Sweet Lori, for such a gift.  And to think I almost said no!

Never pass up a chance to give a gift.  You never know when it's needed more than you could imagine.  And never give up the chance to accept one.  Sometimes, you need it more than you think!

5 Things a Day.

For just about as long as I can remember (aside from our first 2 years of marriage when Kevin and I had NOTHING), I have wanted to downsize.  Not our house.  We built a big house on purpose.  We want our house to be the one our kids friends want to come to and the house our kids want to stay home in when other kids are out partying (it's a big hope, I'm sure).  We wanted enough space for everyone to be able to get away for a while but still be 'together'.  And lot's of other reasons.

BUT.....what I don't want is a big house full of absolutely everything.  We have more storage space than we could ever have wanted....which I love.....but that doesn't mean I want all my storage space full of, well, stored things.  Because if I'm storing things.....that means I'm not using them.

It's one thing to have a studio full of art supplies.  They'll get used by either me in my own artwork or in the classes we teach at the gallery.   I'm talking things in boxes I haven't seen since my wedding day 12 years ago.

A couple of months ago, I opened a box that was falling apart and found a wok inside.  Wow.  I didn't even know we had a wok.  Never used one.  Don't know how to use one.  Then as I kept cleaning out the cabinets, I found another big box.  What was inside?  You guessed it.  Another wok.  Still in plastic.
Why in the name of Moses do I have 2 woks that have never seen the sunlight?

Kevin and I have decided that our life of clutter and excess is utterly ridiculous.  Especially after we saw our own spending and 'need' of all things new passed on to our kids.  Kevin got the girls plastic balls to play with in the backyard a couple of weeks ago, which they played with endlessly for about a day.  The other day, Molly complained she was bored and I told her to go outside and kick around her new ball.
'It's not new anymore, Mom', she said.  Because it's 2 weeks old.  And it's not her fault.  She learned it from her parents who, literally, get 2 boxes from Amazon every week of whatever it is we 'need' delivered on our doorstep.

We are done.  We are calling it quits before it ruins us.

We've been reading a book called '7, An Experimental Mutiny against Excess' by Jen Hatmaker.  Oh boy.....very inspiring and well worth a read.  It's pretty much about how she decided to combat our American lives of excess for 7 months.  And Kevin and I found a lot of inspiration there.  So, riding on Mrs. Hatmakers coat tails, we have decided to combat our own American excess.

Kevin and I are giving away 5 things each every day during the month of May.  At the end of the month, that will mean we have given away 300 items.  And I'm not talking about a piece of yarn or a broken toaster......that's trash.  I'm talking about usable items.

And you know what?  I can't freaking wait!!!  Kevin has already dove in but I start tomorrow.  I'm so looking forward to de-cluttering my house, my life, my mind........so many things.  Even the girls are jumping in by giving away 1 thing a day all month long.

I'm so looking forward to the challenge.  And what I'm really looking forward to is when we are halfway through the month when we've given away 150 things between us and have to start being very intentional about what stays and what goes.  I think I'll learn a lot about myself and what is actually important to me.  Yikes.

It all begins tomorrow....May 1, 2013.

Oh boy.......I can't wait.

Rest....Sweet Rest!

Happy Friday!  My hubby and I are sitting on our screened in porch enjoying the 75 degree weather and the beginning of the weekend.  The girls have a playdate going with one of Lilly's best friends, I'm getting ready to pour a glass of wine and I must say......life is good.  I haven't relaxed like this in weeks.

Last weekend I did my first art show in years.  I'm always so busy promoting the artists in the gallery that I forget, sometimes, that I'm an artist, too.  So.....I buckled down for 8 weeks and made a 'tent load' of new art to display so that I wouldn't have to take anything from the gallery.  Holy Moly.  I was glad when the show finally rolled around so I could get some rest!

It was a great show and I so enjoyed talking with folks.  It really is gratifying to see that people actually like my work.  Not everyone likes folk art.  Really.  You either love it or hate it.  I enjoy painting in my style so much.....I guess because it reminds me so much of Kentucky and my roots.  

I've always toyed with the idea of taking formal art classes (I have no instruction other than a 5th grade class) but part of me is afraid I'll try to get too technical and lose my 'folkiness'.  So.....I just keep doing my thing.  Sometimes it goes well......other times no one even stops for a looksy.  So be it!

But, all those weeks of using every free second to create and then this past week to catch up on all the gallery work that had been ignored (whew.....and there was LOT'S of catching up to do!) truly makes me appreciate the lovely evening I'm about to enjoy with my family.  Rest is so important.  More important than I give it credit for.  I just recently started taking my Sundays seriously.  You have to admit it......God is pretty smart about this whole 'take a day off and keep it holy' thing.  

Since I started taking one day to do no cleaning, computer work, Sanctuary work or painting......I find I'm raring to go on Monday.  I can start the week and be excited about what's coming up.  I even find that the things I usually dread, like paperwork, don't faze me the way it did when I allowed myself to work 7 days without a break.  And even though I work from home mostly.....anyone who owns a business knows that you are NEVER off duty.  

Had a blast creating these tables from old windows a friend gave me from her house!

You work even when you relax, whether you are returning emails and texts (I get them from artists and instructors well into the late night) or working on schedules or even just taking 15 minutes to work on an art project.  I'm never truly 'off'.  

I was supposed to teach an art class tonight to a lovely group of ladies.  We call them 'cocktails and paintbrush' classes because they are only 3 hours long and the ladies are encouraged to bring cocktails and munchies and relax while we walk them a simple but beautiful painting.  I would have left here at 5:15 to get ready for the 6:00 start time but at 4:00, I had this overwhelming desire to call another instructor and see if she would enjoy teaching instead.  What did she say?  Yes.  

Oh, Glory!!!  So here I sit.....5:45.....glass of wine.......blog writing......tuna on the grill.......listening to my sweet kids having a blast.......

Life is good.  Rest.....sweet rest.

Good night!

Food and Faith......

'Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better.  It's not.'

                                                           
 - The Lorax by Dr. Suess

For the past few years, I've been trying to educate myself about food, the environment and anything else I can possibly think of that affects my sweet, little family.  All this is to the chagrin of my wonderful husband because I get totally obsessed with my findings.   And then I expect the whole family to just jump on board.  

Mostly, I get blank stares and rolled eyes.  Who can blame them?  Who wants to be told your favorite goldfish snack is toxic or that the M&M's you are eating are bad for your lactose intolerant condition (my hubby)?

Yet, still........I can't back down.  I truly believe that gathering all this knowledge can't be for nothing.  And I also believe that God gives you just enough information at just the right time.......just enough to help you get started.....not enough to totally throw you over the edge.  And every book or dvd on the subject I've read or seen has almost thrown me over the edge.  Almost.  

I just read a great book called, 'The Unhealthy Truth'.   If you really want to know the condition of your food, it's a must read.  'Food Matters' is also the best dvd on the food industry and pharmaceuticals that I've seen.  Highly recommend!

My sweet Molly and my wonderful husband are lactose intolerant.  Which means they have an allergy. I have a serious sensitivity to gluten.........it makes me miserable but I love my bread so much I usually ignore it.  And Lilly?  Who knows.  Seems everyone has an allergy around here and I suspect one day hers will show up, too.

I've been slack.  Lazy.  And I've been giving in to Molly for ice cream and whatever else she wants and have been indulging in pound cake, olive and rosemary bread and whatever else I wanted, too.  I've felt like death lately and yesterday I took Molly to the doctor because she literally can't hear.  You heard me right (no pun intended)......she can't hear well.  I figured she just had wax.  So, let's go get it out.  The Doctor pulls out gobs of wax, tells me Molly has fluid behind both eardrums, probably needs her adenoids out and also needs to see an ear, nose and throat specialist.  Also, that she needs prescription steroids and allergy medication everyday.  Or.......................stop feeding her dairy.  Because that's probably the cause.

What??  I'm doing this to my child?????    Because of my laziness?      Oh boy.  My mommy guilt went nuts.  I was told by the same doctor that Molly was lactose intolerant a year ago and that she shouldn't be given any dairy, even with a lactaid pill.  No dairy, period!  And now......the poor kid snores like an old man because of all the snot she retains.  How could this happen?

Welp.....after wallowing in guilt for a while, I made a firm decision.  Our house will be dairy free (okay, okay.....except for my half and half which I can't live without).  But no cheese, butter or milk.  Nada.  Even Kevin jumped in (again.....except for our half and half!!).  And I'm back to no gluten.  None.  Nada.  Not even a little.  

The biggest thing about all this is not only how Molly, Kevin and I feel right now......but what are these foods doing to us in the long run?  20 years from now, how sick will we be if we don't take our allergies seriously??  God given knowledge should not be ignored. And if I don't take that knowledge and protect my family with it, who is?  No one.

And, of course, I could talk for hours about going organic, all natural and non-gmo.  But......just like my sweet Kevin, I'm sure you have heard enough for one night!

New 'Last Supper' painting.  Just finished tonight!!  
Yes, I am aware Jesus looks just a little like Michael Jackson.  It was unplanned.

Down.

There are days I get down.  Really down.  And as my husband has pointed out to me before, for me, it isn't a slow fade.  It's a slippery and quick drop......right down to the bottom.  I won't stay there long.  I get back up fairly quickly.  But for that few hours or days.....it's a pretty dark place.

I fell pretty hard a couple of weeks ago but, luckily, the next day I was on the way back up again.  One thing that always helps me gather my thoughts and get back on the mend quickly........besides my sweet husband rubbing my back and reminding me that the pit is only temporary, it isn't who I really am...... is painting.  And very often, I enjoy adding words to my paintings that help to lift me up and perhaps lift others up at the same time. 

So here is what I came up with.  

This painting was to remind me that the pit is only temporary.  And it always is.  I just have to believe it.

This one is for sweet Molly.  Who has a kind and beautiful heart.

This one is for Lilly and me.  Because we can hear the music.

And this one?  Oh yes.....this one is all for me.

Good night.