A couple of years ago I started having heart palpitations. A bit scary. Sometimes at night they would wake me up and actually take my breath away. I felt like the air was being sucked out of me. So, like any rational person who refuses to believe it's actually anything I could be doing to myself, I assumed I had a heart disorder and went to the doctor who ran every test imaginable on me including an EKG. After about an hour and with all the lines hooked up to the pads stuck all over me reading my heart and my pulse, the doctor remained baffled at how healthy my heart appeared. Then, in a side comment half-heartedly asked without even looking at me, she said,
'Well, how much coffee do you drink?"
I said, "4-5 cups a day sometimes."
She immediately whirled around and gave me a 'are-you-kidding-me-you-just-wasted-an-hour-of-my-life' look and sharply said, "Mrs. Feighery, stop drinking coffee".
She yanked all the lines off of me, patted me on the shoulder and said goodbye.
Did she have any IDEA what she was asking of me? I have beans flowing through my blood, for goodness sake!!!!
|Yes, it is. Though my father and mother forsake me, coffee will never leave me.|
Hmmmm. Okay, stay with me, fellow addicts. Don't give up on this post just yet. Because there ARE benefits to coffee.....or so I read. I can't remember what they are so you'll have to google it.
And after many, many, MANY attempts to stop drinking coffee all together.....all met with absolute failure.....I've made peace with the decision to have one cup of REAL coffee in the morning (a BIG cup) and then I switch to coffee decaffeintated with the swiss water process for the rest of the day (swp doesn't use any chemicals. It's literally just water and suction).
|Coffee at the beach.|
|Coffee at the pool.|
|Coffee in the car. Everytime I'm in the car.|
And I don't feel so defeated either. I think God made me the way I am and He knows I have an addictive personality and that I LOVE coffee. And, quite frankly, coffee is a gift from God. And I'll go to my grave believing that. And so is wine.....but that's a whole other blogpost. So, luckilly, I have options. And luckily, my addiction could be to something much worse. So, here's to another cup of coffee (decaffeinated, of course).
HOW TO TELL IF YOU ARE ADDICTED TO COFFEE.....
(Thanks to fellow addicts for adding to this list!)
1. People get a coffee buzz off your breath from across the room.
2. The first word spoken by each of your children was 'Starbucks'.
3. You name your children 'Joe', 'Buck' and 'Juan Valdez' even though they are girls.
4. Your children only know sizes as 'tall, grande and venti'.
5. You describe your hair color as 'mocha with a double pump of caramel'.
6. All your Christmas cards show you double fisting a latte and a cappuccino.
7. You fast and detox in an effort to get everything EXCEPT caffeine out of your system.
8. Every Starbucks in a 20 mile radius in programed into your GPS.
9. You can't remember where you are, who you are or who those strange kids are who keep calling you 'mommy' until after your second cup of morning coffee.
10. You throw rocks at tea drinkers just because. Sissies.
11. When someone tells you they don't like coffee, you accuse them of being a Communist.
Have a grande day!!!