What does it mean to live? How do we truly live the life of our dreams? We were created for a purpose but how do you find that purpose? And what is the glorious meaning of our tiny lives?
I've been an actress, a personal trainer and now an artist. It took me years to get to where I'm supposed to be........an artist, gallery owner, (but more importantly) a wife and a mother. But how did I get here? And why does it take so long? And really....how long is all this going to last? How long will my happiness exist?
I've been thinking a lot lately about my previous life in Virginia Beach where Kevin and I met, got baptized and were married. I've thought a lot about the people we knew there....people who had a serious impact on our lives and were part of our lives for what seemed like forever....but now, I realize, it was only a moment in time.
And as fate would have it, I recently found out that one of those people has cancer. Horrible cancer. And what does this amazing man do for a living? He's a paster. He started a church. He lost his daughter when she was only 16. He survived the unthinkable.
Where did this come from? And where is it going? And what does it all mean? Why does it happen?
My faith gets shaken from time to time. It shook when my cousin got cancer last year. She survived. She's cancer free. Thank God.
My faith shook when Steven Curtis Chapman lost his daughter. I mean, if he isn't immune from disaster....who is???
My faith shook as I watched my sweet 100 year old, perfect Grandmother suffer for days after she had a stroke. For days before she died. Why? Why not a nice, peaceful transition for someone so loved?
And my faith shakes now. Why a horrible disease for someone who loves so much? Who has gone through so much. Who found his calling later in life and followed it. Followed for God.
Sometimes I wish I were a cheesy Christian who could rationalize everything to the glory of God.
But, my faith shakes.