Honesty

'Honesty is such a lonely word.  Everyone is so untrue.
Honesty is hardly every heard and mostly what I need from you.'
-Billy Joel

There is nothing more important in the world, in my opinion, than honesty.  No relationship will meet it's potential without it.  Honesty can break down and mend.  Dishonesty will simply destroy.

I have lived most of my life hiding behind lies.  Brendan Manning calls it 'the imposter'.  I have lied to myself and others about who I am and what I am capable of so often and for so long that I find it hard to tell the the truth from fiction at times.   I'm even such the good liar that I have managed to fool myself........for years.

Who wants to live a lie?  It's miserable.  Lies invade everything.  They hide what God wants for you.  They make you believe you are something you are not.  Or they hide what you really are....and what you are capable of.  Lies can be masked as insecurity, lack of self esteem and a host of other destructive  things.

'You can't do this.'

'You are fat and ugly.'

'You are not wanted.'

'You are unnecessary'.

'No one loves you.'

'I am all alone.'

Or.......

'You are awesome!!  No one is as good at this as you are!'

At some point, something or someone planted those lies in our heads and we spend the next years of our lives believing they are true.

Lies come in every shape, size and form.  They may puff us up in a moment....but they will eventually tear us down and tear us apart if they are allowed to survive.  And my lies have survived for too long.

It's funny how you never seem to notice negative things about yourself until that dreadful day that you see your own nasty habits manifesting themselves in your children.  Ugh.   I have caught myself reprimanding Lilly or Molly for something seemingly awful just to realize that they picked up that god-forsaken habit from me.

Lying.  It can be so subtle and deceiving.

How do we break the lying cycle?  How do we break free?  There is only one way.  We have to combat the lies with the truth.

'I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength.'  Phillipians 4:13

'I am fearfully and wonderfully made by God.' (I am not a mistake!)  Psalm 139:14

'I have a distinct purpose.  I have value.'  Jeremiah 29:11

'I am not alone in this.  God is my defender and on my side.'    Isaiah 41:10

And if you find biblical truths like these to say OUT LOUD everyday, you'll be amazed how the truth dispels the lies.  It's a process but well worth it.  I know because I am living it and taking it day by day. Little freedoms are beautiful.  And they lead to big freedoms.

So.....since I'm trying to be super honest in my life, here are 5 confessions I believe I should make.

1.  Even though I discipline my children for saying potty words, I laugh when someone toots.
2.  I listen to 'The Chipmunks sing the hits' even when my kids are at school.
3.  I really do think it's funny when people trip, fall down or get hit in the head.
4.  I suck my tummy in 24/7.
5.  I hate dogs.

Whew....that felt good!

Let's live in the light of honesty!!