Weird.

The past couple of weeks have been great.  Really great.

It's my friends.  I forget how much I need them.  Desperately.

When I was a kid, I had no problem making friends.  Super easy.  Played with anyone.

But, as I aged, I began to feel super awkward.  Sometimes I just couldn't think of anything to say to add to the conversation.  And when I did think of something, it was usually weird or blunt or just plain, old inappropriate.  And then I felt stupid.  And small.  And weird.  I would talk, talk, talk.  The more uncomfortable I was, the more I talked.  About anything.  Menstrual periods, politics, baboons, smelly feet......anything to avoid silence.  It did not fair well for me.

So, I went through a phase where I didn't have any girlfriends.  I couldn't relate.  I hung out with mostly boys because if I said something stupid or inappropriate....well, they usually found it entertaining.

But, I was very lonely.  

After I agreed to marry my sweet hubby, Kevin, he made me promise to make some girlfriends.  No more hanging out with guys.   Eek!!!!   I panicked.  I said I would try but I really was afraid.  I certainly did not expect anyone to like me.  I'm just......weird.

So....I prayed.  I prayed for girlfriends.  I prayed a lot.  I prayed that I wouldn't be awkward or strange.  I prayed for courage.  I prayed for confidence.  And I prayed for girlfriends who would get me.  

12 years later.....I have great friends.  Better gal pals than I ever thought possible for someone as weird as me.  I guess God has a sense of humor.....making me weird and also providing me with friends who find it amusing!

Still.....I have to remind myself to meet with my gal pals.  To carve out that time and make it a priority.  About a month ago I felt like I was sinking into a bottomless pit.  Then.....a lightbulb went off.  How long has it been since I met with my gal pals?  I mean really made the time for it?  

So....I did.  I started meeting with 2 gals for coffee on Monday mornings.  I started working out with a gal once or twice a week.  I met with some gals I hadn't seen in forever for wine.  I met with another gal for more coffee.  And another for even MORE coffee (I love coffee).  And I was so overjoyed to get a text from another pal yesterday that said, 'I need to see my friend!'.  

Smile.

And, I feel good again.  I feel more grounded.  Less weird.

Although.....I'll always be weird.  I'm okay with that.  As long as I have friends who get me.  

And I do.

Just for fun.....I'm adding this little video I made of me creating the little painting pictured above.  Hope you enjoy!